Returning to India - A woman's perspective

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From : Priya

1999

Hi.
I am writing to offer a few comments on the article wirtten in Feb, 1998 on returning to India from the USA.
As a second generation NRI (my parents were born in India and came to Singapore in the late 1950's/early 60's), it was heartening to read a refreshing point of view on living in India, and very close to my own heart. I have lived all over the world-mainly the West and Singapore-from childhood to adulthood , and can fully identify with the stages of emotion/states of mind the author went through about living in India before and after the move. Though I am not in a situation of living in India permanently, In the last four years, I have spent long periods there continuously ranging from 6 months to one year. While I love India for many reasons-the spiritual awareness/opportunity for growth, the novelty of being an Indian among Indians, al the cons of living in India became painfully aware over time --- very painfully in my case, as a single female with a child (husband working overseas). As a woman, the situation is even worse. A woman has no status if a man- her man-is not in sight. Yes, it is impossible to function without a network of relatives even for the simplest of things. And if these relatives decide to use your "plight" to bully you, woe betide you. Goods are expensive, and schools --- the bribes for the "good" ones are exorbitant, and then of course, here too , they want to see a man-father/grandfather etc.
In a land that claims to revere women, and in many family settings, does, it treates it women dismally and accords them a very por or non-existent status publicly.
I too had thought of leaving my child with his grandparents to go to school there --- learn Indian cultural values and all that, but now I am not so sure.
I have a suggestion for the author . If he hasn't already moved back, and wants to be out of, but close to India, he could consider Singapore. Of course, there are drawacks here too-small place, very stressful academically even for small kids, but materially everything that is available in the US is here too-albeit , a little more expensive. Also safe, crime free . Would like to know if author finally moved back to US or stayed in INDIA? THANKS
-- Priya

The views of this column are the author's own, and do not necessarily represent the views of NRI Online.

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