From: Tripta Thapar

Subject: My son, a hero

Tripta Thapar - Mother of a Kargil war hero

A BRIEF telephone call from the army headquarters on January 29, 1999, shattered my life. It simply said: "Capt Vijyant Thapar had fallen, heroically, in the battle of Knoll, Three Pimples." As a mother who lost her loving 22-year-old son, I am devastated and live with his memories.

I hear him talking and singing, I see him in the rooms. I feel him all around me. And we feel happy recalling past memories. I hear him shouting excitedly from Drass on January 18, "Mama, you know the news, we have captured Tololing." I can still feel the enthusiasm, as he described the battle as 'maha-Diwali'. His voice came again for the last time on January 24, 1999. He rang up during his cousin's wedding to say, "Mama, we have been assigned another task. Don't expect my call for the next 20 days.

" I keep seeing him as I last saw him - happy in his combat dress, a soldier at last, going to Kupwara. His special military train passed through Delhi carrying his friends Vivek, Nimbu and Sahayak Jagmal Singh. None of them would come back. Like a reel, my son's life flashes across my mind. A healthy baby at Nangal, a sparkling young boy with gleaming eyes at Pathankot (who hated to be woken up for school), and finally a young man bursting with health - tough, principled and looking for action. He was fiercely nationalistic. Bharat Mata was his inspiration.

I feel him all around me, hugging me when I was angry with him for playing music full blast or endlessly seeing war movies. I shall always regret his never returning home after his commissioning in December 1998. As a mother, his loss is a deep wound that doesn't heal, a perpetual pain. I weep inside. I face the world stoically as many young widows, little orphans and even older parents look up to me to draw some strength. I cannot look weak as I am the mother of a brave son.

I try to fulfil what he cherished and most of all he cherished India and being an Indian. He lived, fought and fell for this value. It was this spirit that drove him to the very throat of the enemy, till a bullet struck him on his head. That's the kind of action that inspired Aamir Raza to pen: "A soldier at 19, an officer at 20 and a martyr at 22."

These young men gave up their most valuable possession - their lives - for their country. Yet around me, I see so many who feel the country is up for grabs. They want to take away whatever they can lay their hands on. I pen my feelings on patriotism in daily life driven by this anguish.

Tripta Thapar

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